So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
