First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
