That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it because I queefed?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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