He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
