Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
