how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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