Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
