I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
