I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
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I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
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I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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