I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
