Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
