i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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