You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
