Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize