whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
