Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Soap is not a condiment
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
