shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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