Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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