how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
