her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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