I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
