I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
