How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I wear drunk well.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
