glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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