Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
