Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
