Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
