I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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