That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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