We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
