2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize