the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
