you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
