Fine. I'll sleep in my office
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
