so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
