boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
