He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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