I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
