Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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