i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
