I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Its about making memories worth repressing
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
