she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
