i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
