I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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