A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
ttyl tear gas
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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