Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
