Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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