Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
