on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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