his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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