but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
