I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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