why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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