Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
