How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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