goodnight i made you a song goodbye
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
