There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I still have a little drunk in my system
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
