guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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