I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Its about making memories worth repressing
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
