TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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