from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
