we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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