He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
