I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
